[Seasons] Inbox; un: jean

[rustyhonesty]

INBOX text / audio / video / action Jean here. I can't answer my phone right now so leave a message. code credit

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[skyscrapes]

... There's something I should tell you, though. If you don't already...

[ He can't quite finish it, but the expression on his face goes from a smile to somber, a stricken look in his eyes. If Jean needs to hate them for this, let him hate him.

He knows, on some level, that Jean already knows about this - about Marco's death. About Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt's involvement in it, if not the details then by logical inference.

But he deserves the honesty of it. ]

[rustyhonesty]

[The smile fades, getting replaced with a serious, almost mournful, look. He knows exactly what this is about. What else would it be, really.

One of the things he can never forgive them about.]

I know. And I'm angry at all of you three for it. I can't and won't forgive any of you... but I also won't linger on it.

[He could be bitter about it and ruin any chances of friendship with all of them. That would be easy. But it's also something he doesn't wanna do.]

Marco's now here and safe. That's what matters. Like you, he got a second chance at life. We might as well try our best to enjoy the chance rather than soil it.

[He almost adds "as long as it lasts", but bites back the words.]

[skyscrapes]

[ Bertholdt doesn't restate the obvious, especially given he's said it before - the things they did were unforgivable. What they did to Marco was unforgivable, exactly as much as it was necessary. Two days before the attack, maybe Marco would have believed Reiner's awful joke.

There was no chance after, and he was smart. It took him moments to figure out what others were still grappling with. He was always the most adaptable, the most kind.

Bertholdt closes his eyes, just for a moment. Killing thousands of people never felt as personal as what they did to Marco. As what happened to Marcel. As realizing what had happened to Eren's mother as a result of what they did.

There is no forgiving that. Indeed, they both have a second chance now. ]

I see.

[ It has, of course, sobered the mood, but it needed to be said. He won't apologize to Jean - while he is sorry, it will never make up for it. It'll only serve to provoke him.

So, he leaves it. ]

If you need to leave now, I would understand. But ... I hope you'll stay for a bit.

[ At least long enough for the drinks to be served, maybe. ]

[rustyhonesty]

[If Bertholdt had apologized he probably would have left. Speaking about it wasn't pleasant or easy, but hearing an apology after he said he wouldn't forgive any of them would have just pissed him off. At least Bertholdt had always been good at reading the mood, rather than just blurting things out.

(Jean still needed to work on that himself.)

He does appreciate the honesty, at least.

The mood is now a bit more tense again, but Jean shakes his head.]

I'll stay. It would be nice to talk about something else.

[Maybe about something related to how Bert's been adjusting to Ellipsa or just something other than this.]

[skyscrapes]

[ He's never been a master conversationalist. But, there is something he's found in Ellipsa he enjoys, and he could keep a conversation going for quite a while about. ]

Have you found and read any books you like here? Fiction, not study books.

[rustyhonesty]

[Books were a good change in subject. Though admittedly, Jean's been reading more study material than anything else. But...]

I'm currently reading a book called Pride and Prejudice. Something about the setting and the character feels nice.

[A quick summary of the book that Shiranna is not writing here.]

[skyscrapes]

[ Bertholdt listens to the story explanation so far with a curious expression. He smiles after a moment. ]

Elizabeth sounds like quite a character. I might have to read that myself.

I found a book series here - Tales of Temptation. It has a similar premise, in that the main character is trying to pick someone to marry, though he has the choice of many suitors.